Connecting through Empathy

Today is the 129th running of the Boston Marathon, officially Patriot’s Day here in Massachusetts, but most of us just refer to it as Marathon Monday. I live on the route at approximately mile 23, so as I type this, there are thousands upon thousands of people both running and cheering directly outside my window. The middle of the pack has reached us right now and the majority of runners will pass my block within the next couple of hours. After that, most of the spectators will start to fade away, heading for local restaurants, parks, or house parties on this gloriously sunny day. And while the number of runners coming down the street will also dwindle, the race is far from over.

After 4pm is the hardest time for anyone still running this race, and typically, these are the runners who struggle the most. There are plenty of folks like my friend who, several years ago, blew out her hamstring at mile 5 and hobbled her way for the remaining 21 miles to get to the finish line. Whatever the reason, people who have made it to mile 23 are determined to finish, no matter what obstacles stand in their way. And it’s at this moment that I get outside and cheer on the hardest.

For many years, I’ve made a point to stand on the sidelines late in the day, long after the crowds have dispersed, to support these warriors. Anyone who runs a marathon is a hero in my book, and I’m in awe of their determination, grit, and stamina, no matter how long it takes them to finish. As a self-proclaimed human behavior geek, I know that the longer they are pushing to get to the finish line, the more their brains start to work against them. This is when doubt, fear, and anxiety can hit the hardest for anyone, no matter how strong your fortitude is.

I don’t know these people and I, most likely, will never see them again. But that doesn’t prevent me from connecting with them in some of their toughest moments and sharing my energy, empathy, and support. Uplifting others, especially people we don’t know, is the greatest gift we can give. And news flash! – it’s also a little bit selfish. My heart swells when I see a struggling runner respond with a small smile or a thank you, and then go on to find whatever endorphins they have left to keep going.

I’ve shared quite a bit about both the power of gifting and ways you can show up as a giver without compromising your values. This is one of the many ways I can put my gifts out into the world without having it feel like work for me. The race is literally at my doorstep, and I get to be outside in the beautiful weather with a community of people who are happy to see me. There is no downside or expectation of anything more than showing up as my authentic, cheerful self and giving whatever energy I have in that moment. And the gift I receive in return is inspiration and amazement of the power of the human spirit. This tiny moment not only allows me to connect with others, but strengthens the connections I have with my head and heart.

A post-race update: After being out there for over an hour and getting a number of thank yous and smiles, a lone runner absolutely made my day. She was jogging and clearly running out of steam, but still had enough energy left to ask me if she looked hot. I got to tell her she was a gorgeous beast which made both of us burst into belly laughs and made her run harder.

So, as you think about your week ahead, are there small gifts you can give to complete strangers that help you connect on a deeper level – both to them and to yourself? I’d love to hear how you’re taking action! Feel free to join the conversation on our Substack to share your thoughts. 

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