When Language Inadvertently Alienates
Speaking the same language is crucial for forging connection, especially when you’re hoping that the conversation inspires someone to take action. Each of us has a picture in our heads or a connotation around certain words that can lead to visceral reactions. And even if the feeling isn’t strong, that assumption about a word’s meaning can lead to confusion.
Say, for example, that I tell you that something is green. You might picture it as being Kelly green while I’m actually thinking of it being forest green. Slight nuances in our words and our perceptions of what other people mean can lead to misunderstandings and breakdowns, especially among groups trying to work together.
Language has the power to inspire and motivate, but if used incorrectly, it can also lead to disengagement and disconnection.
BBMG, a brand consultancy, teamed up with Earth Guardians, GlobeScan, Culturas, and Guru Media to attempt to understand why Gen Z seemed disengaged around the pressing issues of climate change. Through global polls, conversations with youth leaders, and a scan of more than 50,000 user-generated videos, they analyzed the language that younger people were using. What they found was illuminating and gives a roadmap for helping to shift the narrative around climate action.
The findings showed that Gen Zers are hopeful when they hear the word “nature,” but filled with anxiety when they hear the word “climate.”
“Climate, in the content we scanned, shows up as stress, urgency, overwhelm, fatigue, movement elitism, and a finger pointed at the viewer. Nature shows up as connection, awe, calm. A nervous system reset. Same audience. Two entirely different emotional experiences, depending on which word you lead with. If ‘climate’ is landing as an indictment, it’s worth asking what happens when ‘nature’ lands as an invitation.”
I’ve written before about the Power of Saying Things Simply and how overly complicated, flowery language, or jargon can backfire and cause people to turn away. But more than just complicating matters, we need to think about our individual word choices and the connotations of our words, whether intended or not.
I’ve been as guilty as the next person of using language that inadvertently turns people off. I’m part of a group focused on addressing the broader crisis of disconnection here in Greater Boston. As we were brainstorming names for our group, we loosely landed on The Connection Collective. It felt catchy and in line with what we were trying to build. It was only after we began sharing this name with others that we discovered our collective blind spot.
The goal of our group is to bring different constituents to the table and to allow everyone to feel that they have a voice. In one conversation, someone shared that the word “collective” has taken on a left-leaning connotation and could potentially feel alienating to those who are more conservative. It was a wake-up call that even those of us who are in the bridge-building space can inadvertently alienate others with a simple word choice.
While we’ll never resonate with every person and there will always be misunderstandings, there are some steps you can take to mitigate disconnecting language.
First off, try to socialize your messaging with a broad group of people, starting with those you trust. Explain what your goals are and what you’re seeking to accomplish, and ask for real, critical feedback on how those words land.
Once you have that initial feedback, start testing your language out with people who are outside of your trusted circle and may be different from you. Before I launch anything, I talk about it with as many people as I can, like people I’ve just met at an event, to see how they react. It’s my own form of market research and has helped me ensure I’m developing messages that will land with a wide audience.
After testing your draft language, get curious and see how others might be communicating similar ideas. Do they seem to be successful or falling flat? People can spark engagement by using different words, tone, and styles. For example, some might use humor to break through a difficult topic while others might want to use weighty words to convey the seriousness of an issue. Whatever it is that you’re trying to communicate, see how others are doing it and decide if they’re on to something or if their messaging feels off.
Then, ask your audiences directly – does this resonate with you? I’ve done this in a variety of settings, particularly with mission-driven organizations who are trying to inspire people to invest in their cause. I talk with prospective funders, beneficiaries, staff, and anyone else that might seem relevant to the organization to get a sense as to whether the language being used feels like it aligns.
Finally, incorporate all that you’ve learned from socializing, evaluating, and asking questions into your messaging, and don’t be afraid to pivot.
That’s what our group did, and The Connection Collective is now testing out a new name – the Alliance for Social Connection. It may seem like a small change, but it’s an important one. To us, “collective” sounded like an invitation to come together, but it sent a very different message for the exact people we were hoping to welcome. And the more we thought about our group and our work, we realized that we truly are a cross-sector alliance of individuals and organizations. This hard look at our language actually helped us get clearer about our purpose and is shaping our direction.
Has a word or message turned you off, or have you been surprised by how your words landed with someone else? I’d love to hear about it. You can join the conversation on Substack or drop us a line at hello@theconnectors.net. And if you’re thinking about how your own communications are landing, this is one of the many things I work on with individuals and teams here at The Connectors, so please reach out anytime.
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